I understand what you mean, and I didn’t think you were being snarky.
As I mentioned in another reply, I am very new to almost everything networking related and figuring things out as I go (Link Aggregation was a pain) but I’m slowly getting things running correctly.
As of now pi-hole is showing 14 devices (most likely these are smart home devices) and is blocking all ads on speedtest.net. I didn’t change anything so maybe it just needed time? Idk haha
edit: I’m going to mark this reply as the solution since everything seems to be working correctly now.