I got the following on post init command for similar reasons:
echo 34359738368 >> /sys/module/zfs/parameters/zfs_arc_max
haven’t had it randomly roll back to default in the last 20 days or so of uptime. Give it a try?
Only thing I could think of would be to shrink arc size to something very small & then back to the value that you want it to stay at as a cron. If not mistaken this’d flush:
echo 32 > /sys/module/zfs/parameters/zfs_arc_max
echo 34359738368 > /sys/module/zfs/parameters/zfs_arc_max