Drop the hyperbole. It’s not that bad. Your drive has only been spinning for 1,140,771,161 centuries.
Trillion years? 
I wonder if that’s an indication of tampering or if it’s because you’re using SMART over a USB bridge?
sure, the usb bridge could be a reason for strange value.
Actually I would love to do more tests to get closer to the root cause but I need to send the drive back in order to get my refund - that’s why I’m doing a secure erase right now.
as a conclusion, these are the discrepancies I figured out so far:
- ordered a 7200rpm drive, got a 5400rpm drive
- with this model number it seems that a 5400rpm doesn’t actually exist
- the warranty on the Seagate webpage based on the serial number was expired 2019
- the resilvering process took way to long with this drive
- I got a “brand new” drive with a manufacturing date of 2022 on the label
All in all, it’s extremely annoying to spend my - and everybody else’s - spare time with scam fuckers.